Developing Self Worth

Everyone will face a bully at some point in their life. I believe it’s how we are raised that determines our reaction to bullying behavior, however. Depending on whether we were nurtured or neglected as a child, perceived bullying can be taken by the “victim” in two ways. The child who is raised in a supportive household might interpret it as lighthearted joking around. Or, at the very least, while the nurtured child might not like the experience, he or she will not take it personally because that child knows they are inherently good and loved.

When a child grows up in an unstable environment, they are vulnerable to abuse and will be much more defensive to a bully’s advances. Because this child is laden with self doubt, they will believe the bully’s words about them to be true. A child who hears negative things at home will believe what their peers say because hostility is their reality. 

As important as it is for parents to speak positively to their children, it is equally important for parents to protect their children from bullies. If a child tells you about an experience with a classmate, investigate it. Speak with that child’s parent or talk to a school administrator about nipping it in the bud. If the problem isn’t resolved, consider transferring your child to another school or homeschooling them. Your reaction to the bully will give your child a sense of their worth, good or bad. If you take the issue seriously, the child will know that they don’t have to put up with harassment and will not allow people to treat them badly as an adult. If you ignore the issue, the child will accept the bully’s behavior as the norm and will experience a life of mistreatment from others.

How many scenarios have we seen of broken adults who are continually berated by co-workers in each job setting no matter where they transfer? These are the same people who attract romantic partners who verbally abuse and abandon them. These people are prone to a life of victimhood because they’re constantly reliving the unresolved realities of their childhood. What they learned to tolerate as children was abuse, so they experience a tortured reality as adults because that’s what they’ve learned to accept from others.

Nobody’s childhood can be perfect, but life can become a lot more productive and navigable with a supportive guardian from childhood.

 

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